A Long Way Off
by Rosewood Trinity
Summary: So, a cowardly Paladin, grouchy Sorceress, drunken Necromancer, daydreaming Druid, psychotic Barbarian, klepto Assassin and oblivious Amazon walk off to slay Diablo...


"The brave, mighty Paladin took his first steps onto the long road ahead. Armor and shield shining in the torchlight as he recalled his quest to eradicate darkness from this land, for at the end of his long trek was evil incarnate. Diablo. With-"

"Roth."

The Paladin stopped mid-step, having forgotten all about the woman following him. He kept his gaze firmly ahead so she wouldn't notice how red with embarrassment his face was. "Yes?"

"Do you always self-narrate like you're the hero in some epic tale?"

"W-well... it... helps me psyche myself up. To slay monsters and such." He explained in little more than a mumble.

"It's weird and I'm willing to bet you never killed damn thing bigger than a mouse. If that."

Roth frowned, glancing at the sorceress. "That's not-"

"Don't even try to deny it." She interrupted, resting her long, purple-gemmed staff across the back of her shoulders and giving him a hard look. "I saw you talking with Akara. When she mentioned the Den of Evil, you looked like you almost soiled your armor."

Frowning, he turned back to the road ahead and continued walking. "Why are you following me?"

"That's easy. You're going to die."

Stumbling over his own feet, Roth spun to face her, one hand on the hilt of his sword. "W-what are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Oh calm down. I said you're going to die, not that I'm going to kill you."

"Then... what-"

"Oh, look at yourself." She snapped, and he flinched. "You're twitchy, paranoid... you won't last ten minutes out here before ending up as a zombie's chew toy!"

Roth frowned, his shoulders sagging. "Okay, I'm a little inexperienced, I'll give you that, but-"

"The only thing that ever comes from a but is crap, so don't bother finishing that sentence. Just shut up, turn around, and let's go find the Den of Evil."

Muttering to himself, Roth turned and let himself be moved forward as the Sorceress shoved him. "Why are you coming with me, anyway? I didn't invite you and it sure sounds like you don't want anything to do with me."

"I'm here for my own reasons, that's all you need to know." She replied simply.

Not satisfied with that answer one bit, Roth glanced back and opened his mouth to argue but stopped upon seeing the glare she was giving him. He coughed instead. "Right... so... can I at least know your name?"

"Alicia. Now move your feet and try not to get killed. I'd get mad if I introduced myself to a moron that just ended up dead in a few hours."

"Oh, you're giving me a few hours now? Did you get some confidence in me?" Roth asked with a grin.

"Of course not. I should be able to keep you alive that long before I get sick of protecting your worthless hide and leave you to a group of carvers who love to do exactly what their name implies."

The Paladin's face paled at the thought and he probably would have stopped to let his second thoughts get the better of him, if not for the ill-tempered sorceress now dragging him along.

...

Thunder rumbled as another flaming zombie collapsed and Alicia looked over her shoulder at the Paladin. Who had yet to do anything apart from use her like a shield. "Feel free to jump in anytime, unless what you've got down there is actually fake."

Roth placed a shaky hand on the hilt of his sword. "Of course my blade is real. I wouldn't come out here unarmed."

"I was talking about what's just right of that, actually."

The Paladin looked down, frowning once he realized what she was getting at. "Oh, ha-ha. Very mature."

"One of us has to be." She smirked, turning back around and lighting up another zombie in the distance. "Was it left or right at the fork to go to the Den of Evil?"

"Um..." Roth hesitated, thinking. "...left."

"Are you sure?" She asked, doubtful.

"Pretty sure."

"You realize of course, if we go down the road that doesn't lead to the Den of Evil, we'll end up somewhere three times as dangerous." She said, the thunder in the background steadily growing louder.

He stared at her back for a moment, then sighed. "It's right."

"I know, just trying to keep you honest. Paladins aren't supposed to be liars." She said, continuing down the path and chuckling. "Then again, they aren't supposed to be total cowards either. Are you sure you deserve the title?"

"I-I'll have you know I'm a very able Paladin! The man that trained me praised my skill all the time." He insisted.

"Right. Sure." She muttered skeptically. "I might believe that if you actually lift a finger to help... or lead the way... or even just stop all the sweating and trembling. You're a grown man, stop acting like a frightened little child."

"I'm... I'm not acting like a child!"

"Yeah, I suppose that's a bad choice of words." She shrugged. "Lumping you in with them is an insult to children everywhere."

Glaring, Roth stomped up next to her and grabbed her shoulder so she'd turn to face him. "Look, I know I'm not exactly what people think of when they think of Paladins, but I am one! All the training I went through is proof I can do it! I'm a little nervous, I admit, but it's my first time out alone! I'm not an experienced adventurer like you seem to be, so cut me some slack!" Alicia just stared quietly as he made his little speech, and once he was done pointed to something to her right. Roth glanced over, lightning flashed and he screamed in horror, swiftly putting the Sorceress between himself and the thirty-foot tall skull with pointy teeth looming nearby.

"A little nervous, huh?" She said, rolling her eyes. The giant skull Roth thought he had seen was actually the entrance to the Den of Evil, the teeth being stalactites and eyes poorly-positioned indentations in the rocky wall above. "First of all, as far as I know, you never had training. Second, you're not alone since you're with me. Third and most importantly, I've never left the Rogue Encampment before today. Ask Akara when we get back if you don't believe me."

He started to say something, but couldn't for the life of him remember what as she turned back away from him and strode toward the Den of Evil with no hesitation what so ever. Cautiously, and simply because he didn't want to be left alone out here, he followed after her.

Once she heard him catching up, Alicia breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She was nervous and wanted to be going solo out here just as much as he did, but no way was she going to let it show. One of them had to have some backbone if they were going to get anywhere.

Inside the Den of Evil, however, it became rather difficult to fake it. Three steps into the cave she stopped dead, Roth bumping into her back and staying there after making a sound she could only describe as a whimper. The walls and floor were drenched in blood, various pieces of fallen, zombie and who-knows-what-else littering the area.

Alicia's stomach knotted at the sight and she knew Roth's had to be doing the same. "You puke on me and I'll kill you." She muttered weakly, and two lights appeared by the wall opposite the entrance. It only took her a second to figure out they were a pair of hungry, gleaming yellow eyes.

Whatever was hidden in the shadows began to stalk toward them and they both screamed.


End file.
